“poets and heroes are of the same race, the latter do what the former conceive.” - alphonse de lamartine

you know how in movies or tv shows the main characters
are always in this rough spot in their lives?
and we always meet them when their lives are changing from
normal to this new tv/movie life
i feel like i am on that middle ground now
but i've been here for a year
and my hero still hasn't come to save me

only a steel man can be a lover

we always want what we can not give
for instance, i have this longing to know people, really know people
i want someone to tell me a secret, to confide in me
but the problem is i definitely do not confide in anyone else
i can't confide but still i want someone to confide in me
i don't know...life is confusing and horrible at times
sometimes i can not believe the situations i am in
i can not wrap my head around the life that i am living
i am in utter disbelief

"if i was crying in a van with my friend it was for freedom from myself and from the land" - chicago by sufjan stevens

sometimes i wish i was not in my life, that i had a different life