sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

there was a murder. on thursday february 28th.
i did not know her, i knew of her. she went to my school though.
and i know people who did know her. and that is probably the
worst part. something so evil so horrible only hurts others not
whoever the murderer meant to hurt.
i am sad for everyone who knew her and i feel hurt.
but part of me is just angry. not just because someone innocent
died but because of all these fake reactions.
when i walked through the halls of my highschool there were
girls crying right to left.
"i just hope she went to heaven" - the "jesus" crowd cries.
but i wonder how many of these people even knew her.
and i wonder how they feel today.
probably - oh that was sad. moving on to my superficial life now.
it is just unfair. i mean i am not grieving because i didn't know
her. i am so sad and its horrible but i am not going to fake tears
or be sad forever. i just wish that all this crying and grieving was
the least bit real.
then again, there are people who knew her directly and
that right there is real sadness.
i'm scared. because i know what an event like this does to a persons
mind. i mean this might be the final push over the edge for someone.
it might be the ten steps back for the person who just now started
recovery. things like this should never happen to anyone.
but we all know they do.