as i'm applying to college...i've realized i've gotten myself into some pretty deep shit. just having to write a religious statement for spu has caused this massive earthquake, or more like heartquake.
i feel my whole entire body physically rejecting the task. i don't want to face this, i don't want to have to think about it. i definitely don't want to have to write about it and have to show my parents, my teacher, and some random group of people at spu.
but why is this?
why is it that i can't write a simple 300 word essay about why i am a christian? i feel like by not being able to do this, i completely fail at my entire life...
like i feel like people have this certain view of me, and it is the christian me...if they knew how i feel, that view would be blown to pieces...
i can't let that happen. i can't face this, not right now. i just want to bury it and never have to think about it again.i sit in front of the computer screen with that damn cursor blinking and blinking, egging me on. it blinks, mocking my pain.
this is so much bigger than me.
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